Radical Reset: Reevaluating Beauty

Radical Reset: Reevaluating Beauty

Here’s a phrase that is freshly integrating its way into my psyche. As a woman who fits that standard perfectly (white, blonde/blue, pretty, hetero, thin, able-bodied), it’s a confronting piece of information that I wish to ignore, to pawn off on others. I definitely do not wish to accept this as a phrase that describes me. Because it’s hurtful.

It’s hurtful to those who do NOT fit that standard and as a result they feel less-than in one way or another. It’s not right that I have advantages that others do not simply because I was born into a body that fits this rare particular description of what a woman is supposed to be.

 

On the inside, I feel different. I’m abnormal, a misfit, a weirdo, strange.

 

I’ve learned to embrace this part of me over the years. Yet, from the outside, I am a version of ‘standard beauty’ for which society has trained me to conform. I’ve encouraged this in others and have even made it a large part of my career. It’s time for me to own up to the truth that there is something drastically amiss. My perspective needs a thorough evaluation.

 

Inside of me is a boiling cauldron. It’s a combination of anger and frustration with a large dose of humility and a willingness to learn. The discovery is unsettling: I’ve been subjected and molded into the perfect vision of femininity to enable our patriarchal society to feel pleased and comfortable with the representation of ‘woman’ that I am. I’ve been part of the larger problem, all along thinking that I was part of the solution. I must confess. I’m rather perplexed.

I’m struggling with what to do with this information.

 

Suffice it to say, this is my “coming out” post. I’m navigating uncharted territory. I’m going ‘ovaries to the wall’ in my search for how I fit into the picture, how I contribute to the current narrative of oppression and what I will DO to unravel and untangle myself from this web.

I invite you to witness my process if you’re curious. Contribute to the dialogue if you wish to share. Teach me if you have some perspective that will aid me in my personal undoing and rebuilding. Join me if you feel like I’m holding up a mirror to your soul.


If I disappear into a dark corner…

…which is my tendency, I invite you to shine the light into my corner and hold me accountable to the words in this post. My intention is to stay the course, to allow myself to be witnessed and to lead in whatever way this story happens to allow. It is my intention to no longer allow my tendency for silence to be permissible. For my silence is part of the problem.

If you can’t be bothered, I invite you to push pause on me. Check back at some unpredictable future date to see what has become of this woman who is (once again) lovingly taking apart the pieces and courageously putting them back together again. I’m undergoing a reconstructive surgery of my soul. I’ll see you on the other side.

 

Follow along on this journey from My Facebook Page.  #reset