Here’s a phrase that is freshly integrating its way into my psyche. As a woman who fits that standard perfectly (white, blonde/blue, pretty, hetero, thin, able-bodied), it’s a confronting piece of information that I wish to ignore, to pawn off on others. I definitely do not wish to accept this as a phrase that describes me. Because it’s hurtful.
It’s hurtful to those who do NOT fit that standard and as a result they feel less-than in one way or another. It’s not right that I have advantages that others do not simply because I was born into a body that fits this rare particular description of what a woman is supposed to be.
On the inside, I feel different. I’m abnormal, a misfit, a weirdo, strange.
I’ve learned to embrace this part of me over the years. Yet, from the outside, I am a version of ‘standard beauty’ for which society has trained me to conform. I’ve encouraged this in others and have even made it a large part of my career. It’s time for me to own up to the truth that there is something drastically amiss. My perspective needs a thorough evaluation.
I’m struggling with what to do with this information.
Suffice it to say, this is my “coming out” post. I’m navigating uncharted territory. I’m going ‘ovaries to the wall’ in my search for how I fit into the picture, how I contribute to the current narrative of oppression and what I will DO to unravel and untangle myself from this web.
If I disappear into a dark corner…
…which is my tendency, I invite you to shine the light into my corner and hold me accountable to the words in this post. My intention is to stay the course, to allow myself to be witnessed and to lead in whatever way this story happens to allow. It is my intention to no longer allow my tendency for silence to be permissible. For my silence is part of the problem.
Follow along on this journey from My Facebook Page. #reset